The secret to a successful marriage, you ask?
Let your corgi be your maid of honour.
"I don’t love him but he’s here and you aren’t"
This hit me like a fucking train
The walking dead// Rick Grimes dad jokes
I SHOULDN’T LAUGH AT THIS BUT OH LAWD
I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER LAUGHED THIS MUCH
I love these. iHop, Carl “you cut off his leg…”
sometimes I forget that Americans have to pay for university upfront like what the fuck is that are u guys ok
If a guy calls you princess in a condescending manner assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.
people who hate on flannel are not worth your time, you OWN that lumberjack look and chop down the haters
I have this tradition. It’s something I do now when a friend dies. I save his Rolodex card. What am I supposed to do? Throw it away in the trash can? I won’t do that. No, I won’t. That’s too final. Last year I had five cards. Now I have fifty. Collection of cardboard tombstones bound together by a rubber band.
it must be really wild to actually have a positive relationship with your father
some people really have that????
no dog should ever be homeless
no home should ever be dogless